As I write this, my son is sleeping upstairs…my cat is chewing on the end of my camera bag…and big, dark clouds are rolling in from the South.  I can hear the thunder rumbling in the distance; likely a meager attempt at cooling down the stifling heat we’ve been enduring for the past week.  All in all, its an ordinary day.  But as I write this, it also happens to be my birthday!  I am turning the ripe old age of thirty-three today!

As Hudson and I walked to the bookstore this morning in search of my next read, I found myself pondering the ideas of happiness, possibility, contentment and pursuit.  All ideas that seem a bit intense for a Monday morning but also sort of relevant as a new year passes.  At least for this girl!

Birthdays seem more significant to me now because so much seems to happen in the span of one short year!  I remember back in my teens when I would imagine what it was like to be in my twenties; {hopefully} done school…{desperately} have a full-time job…{ideally} having a learned a bit more about my self.  That is what I wanted and my expectations weren’t really more defined than that!  Then one day I decided to expand on that rather menial list.  I decided to broaden my scope of potential and see what better dreams I could come up with.  That list ended up being long.  Very long.  And so – here I am – in my thirties and after taking a short inventory of my life, realized that I am perhaps even living beyond my expectations…beyond even what I hoped for myself.  That’s a nice feeling.

I need to make it clear though that I don’t say any of this in a “look how glorious my life is” sort of way…I say it because, the older I become, the more I have learned that the little things matter.  In fact, it’s very possible that the little things are the only ones that matter.  A lot has happened to me over the last couple of years.  More so than any other time in my life actually.  I have become a photographer, a home owner, a Mother, and a business owner.  My life has essentially swirled in its own destined direction with hardly a moment to breathe…and I am overwhelmingly grateful for it.  But in order to keep my stability – my foundation – I’ve needed the little things.  I’ve needed the small moments when my little boy and I dance together in our kitchen; when my husband and I share ice cream on the couch; when I find inspiration in the words of God; when I get my morning coffee each day; when I receive the subtle reminders that another heart is beating inside of me; when I fall in love with a new book; when I can indulge in an afternoon nap.  These are the things that have made life beyond beautiful.

I have a plan for the coming year though because I’ve also realized that with this whirlwind of change in my life…I too have also changed.  It’s kind of hard to make such decisions and not change.  I would like to consider myself a fairly “self-aware” person; I’ve devoted a fair bit of time to trying to get to know myself and furthermore, to understand myself.  This – of course – is a life long process but as I have taken on these new roles in life {wife, mother, artist, business owner, etc.}, I haven’t committed as much time to recognizing how all of this has contributed to my evolving character.  The nice thing about getting older is getting wiser!  Maturity is something that can only be earned and I’m eager to see how the huge decisions I’ve made over the past few years have not only affected the person that I am, but also the person that I hope to become.  I manoeuvre my way through relationships differently…I see the world differently…I contemplate the potential of all human happiness quite differently.

So for the rest of this day, I will continue to indulge.  Perhaps some of my favourite ice cream and a little extra play time with my boys.  But as of today, a new adventure begins…an adventure that I’m pretty excited about!  After all, it’s not every day that you turn thirty-three!

Photo credit: Ewan Phelan
www.lastfortypercent.com