It’s almost dark outside right now!  I’m at Starbucks drinking one of their new salted caramel mochas {fyi – delicious!} and realizing that it’s been a while since I’ve sat in Starbucks at night.  When I left the house, Hudson and Steve were holding hands walking down the street towards the park and I seriously felt like the luckiest girl in the world.  Sometimes I can’t believe that this is actually my life; this incredible man that I share my world with; this beautiful boy that shares a piece of us; this little girl just waiting to make her appearance; this amazing career that God has allowed me to pursue; the incredible family and friends that make everything brighter.  It’s all a lot absorb sometimes because it all feels too good to be true sometimes.  As though I’ll suddenly wake up to realize that it was all just a dream.  Add on top of that the fact that September is finally here and frankly, life just doesn’t get much better.  Thank you God for shorter days, longer nights and everything in between!

I’ve been taking the past week or so to be a bit quieter…to move a bit slower…and to take some time to consider my priorities.  Not so much because they need changing but more because Autumn always makes me feel like renewing, reconsidering and recommitting.  It’s like recycling with pretty coloured leaves!!!  I’ve been reading a book lately by Joyce Meyer about truth.  It seemed odd to me at first because my truths seem pretty straight forward.  My God is good.  My life is blessed.  My love is real.  Upon reading more though, I’ve come to realize that the world – our worlds – are made up of so many more significant truths than that.  Perhaps this is obvious to everyone else, but for me, I’d never really considered it before.  Mostly though, I was taken aback by just how much our willingness to either embrace or deny these truths deeply impacts the happiness and peacefulness of our lives.

When I say truth, I think it’s important to clarify that I’m not saying “the sky is blue” kind of truth…I’m talking about “I feel insecure” kind of truth, or “I feel judged in this relationship” kind of truth.  Harder truths.  Deeper truths.  Subtler truths.  I’m talking about the truth regarding ourselves and the people that we share our lives with.  And I’m learning that being honest about this can seriously change your life.  Now that I’m part way through the book, I’ve concluded this: it is not our lot in life to struggle.  It is not intended for us to fight our way through relationships.  In turn, we have to be honest about them.

I realize that most of this blog post may sound like a giant brain fart {and in essence, it kind of is!}, but as I’ve spent this week considering my priorities, I’ve re-affirmed that my relationships are one of my biggest.  But who I share those relationships with is starting to change significantly.  Taking this time has made me realize that I’m actually not very good at understanding/accepting/embracing the truth about some of my relationships.  Part of me wants them to work so much that I simply refuse to acknowledge the obvious.  Part of me wants to believe that we all have the best of intentions for one another and that our motives are genuine, when in reality, sometimes the kindest thing we can do is to let someone go.  Or at least let the expectation of that relationship go. Maybe it’s being a parent or maybe it’s because I’m getting older but whatever it is…I have become, as of late, determined to pursue peacefulness in my life.  My husband deserves a peaceful wife.  My children deserve a peaceful Mother.  My relationships {those I intend to invest in} deserve my full attention.  And of course, I deserve to walk peacefully through this life.  It’s my birth-right actually.  And yours too!

So I’ve decided to commit to rest of September to uncovering nothing but the truth.  And there’s no better time to do it because truthfulness flows through the air at this time of year.  The wind blows honesty and changing leaves come as a comforting reminder that – this too – shall pass.  It always does.  The fall begins a gentle closure to world around us and with it, an understanding that all is well with the world.

Thank you Fall for finally being here.  Thank you Fall for constantly revealing the truth…