My husband and I have this plant that sits in our family room next to the reading chair that we bought when we moved into our new house.  We’ve had it since before we were married.  It started out very small and sat in the kitchen window of our apartment.  That was a little over six years ago.

My boys and I came home from a five day trip to South Western Ontario early last week to find it nearly dead.  It’s currently sitting there, with it’s leaves all brown and dried up…more than ready to call it a day.  “What do you think is wrong with it?”, I asked Steve…who possesses the green thumb in our house.  “I think it’s root bound”, he told me…”it needs more room to grow”.  Our poor plant has been has been held hostage all this time in a pot that is too small for its spirit and now it’s dying.

Watching my dear plant crumble and wilt has got me thinking about our own spirits and having the necessary room to grown.  I know that throughout my own life, there have certainly been times when I’ve felt root bound.  It’s not a nice feeling.  And I’ve found – through experience – that often, you don’t even realize you need the space until you find yourself suffocating from your own self-induced limitations.

I ran into a car this morning.  I was backing up out of my driveway on my way to an appointment…my flip-flop got stuck under the gas pedal and before I knew it, I had backed into a car parked on the street and broke their tail light.  That, for me, was the emotional equivalent of my elbows rubbing up against the side of my pot.  A pot that was feeling a little too small and confining.  I do have to admit though, that it seems oddly fitting that my summer would come to a close with a broken tail light, a scratched bumper and a slightly bruised sense of self!

It’s safe to say that my straight jacket for the past while has been my health.  This week, I will be entering my third trimester of being pregnant.  Which also means that, for the past six months, I have basically felt like {for lack of a better word…} garbage!  I have been exhausted…I have been dehydrated…I have been malnourished…and all the while, chasing after our son and shooting a full season of weddings.  Having said all of this though, life is good!  In fact, life is great!  But it’s hard to see that sometimes when you come running through your front door, with the car still running in the driveway, just so you can throw up your hard earned dinner in the nearest washroom {fyi…that was me on Saturday night upon returning from my latest wedding}.  It’s hard to see the joy amongst the constant vomiting.

So, as I left the scene of my latest blunder…while my husband and my neighbor started to tally the damages left in my wake…I realized that I needed a bigger pot.  I too, needed more room….

But it wasn’t long after that I was sitting in my doctor’s office listening to the beautiful sound of our daughter’s beating heart when we began discussing the toll that being sick can take on your mental and emotional health.  My doctor looked at me with deeply compassionate eyes and said “I know that it’s been a long and hard pregnancy for you so far…but Fall is just around the corner.”  And right then and there it occurred to me that Fall is, indeed, right around the corner.  Further more, Fall is exactly the change that I need to give me some breathing space.

I spend all year looking forward to Fall.  In the same way that others look forward to Christmas morning or a day at the beach…I long to live in a land of perpetual Autumn.  I love the warm days and the cool nights.  I love duvet blankets on my bed and cozy sweaters wrapped around my shoulders.  I love cinnamon apple candles and pumpkin spice lattes.  I love Thanksgiving and Halloween.  I love the smell in the air and the way the world just falls into a rhythm.  I.love.fall.  While the trees change colours…my entire being changes right along with it.  And it never fails to make me feel better.  More whole.  More myself.  Even now, as I type this, the cool air is pouring in from our living room window and filling my lungs with hope and inspiration.  It’s making room inside of me for growth.

So, in a few short weeks, we’ll flip the calendar once more and I will find myself in the midst of crumbling leaves under my feet and much overdue coffee dates with friends {anyone? anyone?}.  I will feel rosy cheeks once more and indulge in the crackling of our fireplace – not just to warm my toes…but also my soul.

And hopefully, with any luck…my beloved plant and I will both recover from our recent confines.  We will stretch our roots out once more and begin growing anew.

We will – after all – bloom where we’re planted!

And just to give you a little taste of what I’m working on right now…please say hello once again to the gorgeous Kristen!  This time, as the beautiful bride…