To my husband,

A girl asked me about our wedding the other day. She was young and excited and wanted to hear about all the pretty details. “Wow”, she said…”that must have been the best day of your life”. I smiled at her, in all of her exuberance…and I agreed “it really was a great day…but there has been so many more since”. “Wasn’t it the BEST though?”, she persisted. She needed to hear it. The twenty-two year old standing in front of me needed confirmation that the wedding day she was so anxiously dreaming about was going to be the best day of her life.

And that’s okay. Because, right now, she’s young and excited and has watched one too many Nicholas Sparks movies. But one day, she’ll understand.

She’ll understand how much more there is to look forward to. She’ll understand that only after the dress has been worn…the flowers have died…and the food has been eaten…the real fun begins. She’ll understand that, while a wedding is great…a marriage is better.

When I woke up this morning, on the day of our 10th anniversary…I wondered what I’ve learned about marriage in a decade. And the truth is…I know nothing about marriage! And the bigger truth is; I don’t need to know anything about marriage. Because “we” aren’t marriage. “We” aren’t this universal truth that applies to all. We are us. You and me. Our life. Our family. And that’s what I’ve learned a decade later…

It’s the way you run your fingers through my hair when I’m crying with my head on your chest. It’s the way you let me think that I’m hilarious. It’s the way we can spend hours and hours on a plane together without killing each other. It’s the way we dance in our kitchen. It was the look in your eyes on one of the scariest days of our life. It’s the way you took care of me after we had our babies. It’s the way you tell our daughter how beautiful she is. It’s the way we play in the rain. It’s the way you think that 250,000 likes is just the beginning of what my writing will do one day. It’s the way you put your head on my lap when you are hurting. It’s the music we listened to as we drove to the top of the world. It’s the immense joy we found while binge watching The O.C. It’s the Road to Hana and the Outback and cobblestone alleyways of Rome. It’s our own backyard. It’s my endless tears and your endless patience. It’s the way you kiss me goodbye each morning. It’s the way you let me read way too late every night. It’s the way you make room on the shelf every time I buy another mug. It’s the way you never complain when I spend too much money on coffee. It’s watching the sunrise over Sydney Harbour and never sleeping for three years straight. It’s the warning signals you give off when you’re hungry and the way you still love me even though I never put gas in the car. It’s the way you hold my hand when you’re driving and how nervous you get when I’m driving!! It’s doctor’s appointments and mortgage payments and first days of school. It’s embracing the big things and bickering over the little things.

And one day she’ll understand…

She’ll understand that the best day of her life isn’t going to be her wedding day…it’s going to be all of the days after…because then she’ll realize that her wedding day was only the beginning.

And as I woke today…ten years later…I did actually know one thing for sure about marriage…

I’d choose you all over again.

photo credit:  www.laurenwakefield.com | Lauren Wakefield Photography